Stephanie McCullough (00:06):

This is Take Back Retirement, the show that’s redefining retirement for women. Retirement is an old-fashioned cultural concept. We want to reclaim the word so you can make it your own. I’m Stephanie McCullough, financial planner and founder of Sofia Financial, where our mission is to reduce women’s money stress and empower them to make wise holistic decisions so they can get back to living their best lives.

Stephanie McCullough (00:29):

Kevin Gaines is my longtime colleague with deep knowledge in the technical stuff: investments, taxes, retirement plan rules. He’s a little bit nerdy and quantitative, I’m a little bit touchy-feely and qualitative. Together, through conversations and interviews, we aim to give you the information and motivation you need to move forward with confidence. We’re so glad you’re here.

Stephanie McCullough (00:55):

Coming to you semi-live from the beautiful Westlakes office park in suburban Philadelphia, this is Stephanie McCullough and Kevin Gaines of Sofia Financial and American Financial Management Group. Say hello, Kevin.

Kevin Gaines (01:06):

Hello, Kevin.

Stephanie McCullough (01:07):

Today, we’re talking to Gretchen Schoser. I met Gretchen at a women’s podcasting conference, and you’ll hear about her podcasting journey. I just adore Gretchen, period, and how open she is about sharing her experience.

Stephanie McCullough (01:25):

So, as you’ll hear, Gretchen worked in the tech industry for over 40 years and recently decided to take an early retirement offer from her job.

Stephanie McCullough (01:35):

So, she did some great things during that time down. However, she experienced some mental health challenges as she led up to that day of retirement, and that really kind of took her on a journey that she’s going to share with us.

Stephanie McCullough (01:53):

So, this is a retirement story because she has retired, as you’ll hear. She’s going to go back into the working world, but she has officially retired, and she also started a great podcast that you should totally check out called Shit That Goes On In Our Heads.

Stephanie McCullough (02:09):

So, in the podcast, she is anonymous. She is G-Rex and her co-host is Dirty Skittles. It’s really fun, it’s really honest and vulnerable, and I’ve enjoyed listening to it. They just started in January and they’ve gotten some great traction so far. So, let’s dig into our conversation with Gretchen.

Stephanie McCullough (02:37):

Gretchen Schoser, welcome to Take Back Retirement.

Gretchen Schoser (02:40):

I am so excited to be here. It’s such an honor to be on this show with you guys. I’ve listened to almost all your seasons.

Stephanie McCullough (02:47):

Aww, that’s so nice of you.

Gretchen Schoser (02:48):

Well, you know what, because I need to be financially sound in my head because I spend money like I think it grows in my forest.

Kevin Gaines (02:59):

So, do you prefer Gretchen or do you prefer G-Rex?

Gretchen Schoser (03:03):

Let’s do G-Rex because that’s what people are going to know me by.

Kevin Gaines (03:07):

Alright, let’s go with G-Rex.

Gretchen Schoser (03:09):

Let’s go with G-Rex.

Stephanie McCullough (03:12):

Alright, so G-Rex, you are a retired woman, can you explain a little bit about your path to retiring?

Gretchen Schoser (03:20):

Yeah, so in October of 2022, I was approached by my company and they offered me early retirement. Now, the week prior to that, I was praying to God that I would win the lottery because I was just hating my job. We had been merged with another company, so everything around the politics and just the environment just weren’t healthy for me, it wasn’t doing it.

Gretchen Schoser (03:49):

So, that email comes and I was like, “Hell yeah, I’m going to take this.” But before I did I reached out to our former Chief People Officer, our financial guy and my wife, and I’m like, “Is this a good deal? They offered me 19 weeks, they paid out all my RSUs at 100%, they were giving me five years of COBRA.”

Gretchen Schoser (04:13):

And then along with me being paid for those 19 weeks, they were also going to continue to pay my health insurance. I was like, “Hell yeah, I’m going to take this, like deuces.” It took me less than six hours to sign that paperwork, because at the time, my wife has been retired since 2000, well, about 13 years.

Gretchen Schoser (04:39):

So, when she left BellSouth/AT&T, she had a really large pension and 401(k) that we haven’t touched, and my goal was to spend more time with her. COVID had taken so much away from us and I really missed spending that time and going on trips.

Gretchen Schoser (05:03):

So, I signed it, but by the time December rolled around, I had been getting really depressed, because a lot of stuff happened in that timeframe. And you would think that retiring early is a great thing — well, it is, but there’s a lot of anxiety that goes into that.

Gretchen Schoser (05:23):

I turn 60 at the end of July, and for women our age it’s hard to get a job because nobody wants to hire old people unless I go to Walmart and that wasn’t going to happen.

Gretchen Schoser (05:39):

So, that played into it, and then the other thing that played into it was, “What am I going to do with my time?” Because my wife can sit around and do nothing all day, I can’t do that. My mind goes a million miles a second even when I’m sitting still.

Gretchen Schoser (06:01):

And so, what ended up happening is a company that contracted with the company that I was retiring from, said that they had an open position, and I had contacted them and we talked like four weeks later, they offered me a job for a lot of money.

Gretchen Schoser (06:21):

And to me, at the time, when I was thinking about it, it’s not really going to be a job. They need my expertise to help build their practice. So, I get to take everything that I’ve had in my head for 15 years and I get to pass that onto the younger generation.

Gretchen Schoser (06:35):

And they get to take it and run with it and do whatever they want with it, and it’s going to get out of my head. And then here comes Christmas of 2022, and I had a huge mental breakdown.

Gretchen Schoser (06:50):

By that time, everything that had happened the last quarter of 2022, just came to a head and thank God 988, picked up the phone, thank God that my wife was home, and I was on therapy the next day. So, let’s fast forward to January.

Gretchen Schoser (07:09):

So, I’m trying to heal from all this emotional trauma that had just overtaken my life, and I needed to find something that was going to make me feel better. So, I had a coworker and every morning we would call each other because by this time, work was just feeling stupid.

Gretchen Schoser (07:25):

And I’m counting down the days of how many days do I have left, because my last day at work was April 10th, and we found that after-

Stephanie McCullough (07:34):

So, you had decided to retire, but you were still working?

Gretchen Schoser (07:36):

I was still working. So, they did all this craziness from October and they kept me on until April 10th, and they did this in phases. So, there was a group that left in December, a group that left in January, and then the last of us left in April. And the people that left in April were the people that were top contributors, they were going to die if we weren’t there, whatever, I don’t know.

Stephanie McCullough (08:03):

Institutional knowledge.

Gretchen Schoser (08:05):

Yeah, it was my knowledge, but by that time, I was like, “I don’t give a shit, I just want to be out.” My days dwindled down because they were taking more and more responsibilities away from me and giving it to somebody else. So, my co-host of our podcast and I would call, we talk to each other every morning. It’s like talking each other off the ledge, and then laughing about it.

Gretchen Schoser (08:30):

And we got to laughing one day and we’re like, “God, we should really record these episodes because they’re funny and we can go back and listen to them when shit hits the fan at the office.”

Gretchen Schoser (08:40):

So, then we decide, “Hey, you know what, let’s do a podcast,” and this was in the middle of January. And by that time, I was just done, I was counting down the dates, the number of days I had to leave. I initially had a countdown timer sitting behind me, and everybody asked me to take it down because it was making them depressed, okay, whatever.

Stephanie McCullough (09:06):

It was behind your head on the Zoom calls and stuff?

Gretchen Schoser (09:07):

It was behind my head on the Zoom call, and they were like, “You need to take that down.” Okay, fine. So, then I took it and put it in front of me. And every day when somebody would call me, I’d be like, “You know what, I have 63 days left.” And then they would be like, “You need to shut the hell up, because I need to work for another 20 years.” “Okay, sorry to break you the news.”

Gretchen Schoser (09:30):

So, Dirty Skittles and I decided, “Okay, we’re going to do this podcast,” this is January 10th. February 14th, we launched our first episode, and now, I still got to work until April 10th.

Gretchen Schoser (09:44):

But as each passing day goes by, I’m working with my wife, I’m working with my financial guy, making sure that we’re going to have enough money to do the things that I want to do. So, I decided to do this podcast. Okay, we all know that podcasts, you don’t make any money, whatever. It’s a passion project.

Gretchen Schoser (10:04):

But we hit it out of the ball, out of the park even within the first month. We record an episode a week, and I was finding that by doing that, I was getting happier and happier and happier, because my healer is laughter. And getting to tell a story that’s not my story, because now, by that time, everybody knows my story.

Gretchen Schoser (10:35):

I was a hot mess in December, and now, as I edge closer to retirement, life on this side of depression is a thousand times better. And we had been planning to go to Europe forever. So, now, I have the time and I have the money. Because of my wife’s age she had to start withdrawing from her 401(k) and pension. So, we decided to take a big old chunk of money and we went to Europe for three weeks. So, we’re planning this trip, getting everything, getting ready to go. And then I decided that I was going to go down to Florida so I could retire in the office that I started in.

Stephanie McCullough (11:24):

Oh, cool.

Gretchen Schoser (11:24):

Because we had moved to upstate New York during the pandemic. So, I fly down to Florida, had an amazing retirement party. I was a little stunned, there was probably over 70 people there. I partied every single day I was in Florida.

Gretchen Schoser (11:41):

And I did a little work, I was able to help a few people out. And I got to talk to a lot of people about why I made that decision to retire. For me, I’d given everything that I could possibly give to the company. I’d been there for 15 years. For me, I am a true unicorn in my field. There’s probably five of me in the entire world that have my knowledge, and I’d already secured another job, so that fear and that stress had already been taken away.

Gretchen Schoser (12:16):

I was still kind of concerned, like, “How am I going to fill my days?” Because for the last 40 years, that’s all I’ve done is work. I’ve worked in the tech field, nose to the grindstone, always on call. I’m like, “What am I going to do?” So, I do this huge three-week retirement trip. My wife didn’t think I was ever coming home, because I was literally gone for like 15 days.

Gretchen Schoser (12:47):

So, I get home from my three-week retirement party, and eight days later, we left for Europe. And my one thing I’m going to say about retirement and travel is — and it’s something that I learned recently from somebody, we just never viewed. I’m sorry we waited.

Gretchen Schoser (13:13):

You know what, you can find that money somewhere. You need to make those memories because you know what, life’s not guaranteed, and it was by far the best trip of our lifetimes. We went to France, Italy, and Greece and ate really good food and drank really good wine. But I’m sad that we waited until now to do that and hadn’t planned on doing that early in our lifetime.

Stephanie McCullough (13:43):

What do you think made the trip so great?

Gretchen Schoser (13:46):

The fact that I didn’t have to rush back to work. Because we’d been in three different countries, three different time zones. By the time I got back to the States, I didn’t know what day it was, I didn’t know what time zone I was in, I didn’t have to rush. I wasn’t checking my email every day, I was enjoying the moment, I was out there making memories.

Gretchen Schoser (14:10):

And to me, that was the number one thing that really resonated through the entire trip. It made my wife super happy because I wasn’t on my phone, I wasn’t on call. I was at her disposal 24/7, and that’s what made the trip.

Stephanie McCullough (14:33):

So, if you had taken the time off from work, before retirement, it might not have been that way, right?

Gretchen Schoser (14:39):

It may not have been that way, but I still think that it would’ve had the same impact. I probably would’ve had to taken a couple of days off after we’d gotten back from the trip just so I could figure out where I was.

Gretchen Schoser (14:58):

But my message to everyone is don’t wait. Don’t wait, make those memories because, yeah, we need to make money, we need to live, we need to pay our rent, buy a car, we need to eat. But if you sock away just a tiny bit of money every month, you can afford to go some someplace special even if it’s just for a couple of days. Make those memories, because that’s what life is about, is making those memories. Right after we came back is when we interviewed my friend, Booky. Now, Booky has had terminal cancer, she had stage four metastatic breast cancer.

Gretchen Schoser (15:37):

And this woman lived her life so hard, she loved her life, loved her kids, loved to travel. She did not let cancer slow her down. Her message to us, and my co-host was 20 years younger than I am — is get out there and make those memories.

Gretchen Schoser (15:55):

Because you need to make every day count, every single day. Whether you’re working or not, make those days count and make those memories. Because at the end of the day, that’s all you’re going to have. You may have the money, you may have a nice house, you may have a nice car, but her thing was you don’t need those things, you need the memories.

Gretchen Schoser (16:14):

Because for us, we got to re-release her episode today. And her friends and her family and everyone around her got to listen to that message because it was such an important message, and it resonated with me more than I thought it would. And it resonated with my wife and our mutual friends and everything.

Gretchen Schoser (16:43):

So, that’s the other thing, is if you go back and listen to any of our episodes of our podcast, go back and listen to Booky’s episode, it will resonate with you 110%. She was all about what life should be about.

Stephanie McCullough (16:58):

That’s great, so tell us about this podcast project. So, you were worried about what was going to spend your time. You and your coworker, Dirty Skittles decided to record these crazy conversations you were having.

Gretchen Schoser (17:08):

So, we did. It was the craziest thing. So, work was just getting stupid. It was getting stupid for me, but it was getting equally stupid for her. So, we would laugh for the first hour of every day. We’re like, “God, we need to record these episodes.” So, we couldn’t really record the things that we were talking about because they were work-related, but we had other stuff that we could talk about. And we had like a laundry list of guests that we could bring on.

Gretchen Schoser (17:37):

And our original intention was to get people out of their head. 30 minutes, you raise your serotonin and you start laughing, and one thing leads to another. So, the next thing I know is I have a $300 microphone and a stand. We’ve gone ahead and gotten a hosting company, figured out what our platform was going to be and we just started recording.

Gretchen Schoser (18:07):

And then, people started reaching out to us because now, they figured out it was our voices. Because I’m still working, Dirty Skittles was still working. And I’m like-

Stephanie McCullough (18:17):

You were outed.

Gretchen Schoser (18:18):

And we were outed, literally outed. So, then we had to come clean, because now, our boss was listening to it and I’m like, “Oh, what am I going to do?” Because you know what, every fourth word, I say “fuck.” I’m like, “Oh God, I don’t know if that’s so good.” And then, during my whole retirement tour, I go to Atlanta and I see my aunt and uncle. Well, my aunt’s a little religious, and I had to go back … She wanted to listen. I had to go back and filter through the episodes to figure out which ones I didn’t cuss a whole lot in, there were like three. So, I was okay with that.

Gretchen Schoser (18:58):

But once we started, once we hit like 20,000 downloads, we’ve had sponsors start reaching out to us. And so, now, we have a way to monetize our show, because that’s my wife’s other question. She’s like, “When do you guys think you might be in the black?” Hard to answer, maybe December.

Kevin Gaines (19:20):

So, this job you’re getting ready to take, is it a job that you’re doing just so you can get the benefits or is it something that you actually are going to enjoy?

Gretchen Schoser (19:29):

Oh, it’s something I’m going to love. Like totally love it. It’s a small consulting firm and they are trying to become competitive with the other bigger consulting firms, but they need my knowledge. It feels good to be wanted. It’s very humbling to be wanted and they’re excited to have me.

Gretchen Schoser (19:51):

It feels good to be needed. I could have gone on and done my job forever and I was comfortable with it, but was I happy? No. Now, I’m excited about it, and it’s hard to explain it because to me, everybody’s like, “Oh, you’re going back to work.” It’s not really work. I’m going to call it knowledge transfer, because at this stage of the game, I think it’s important for people that are my age to give back.

Gretchen Schoser (20:23):

I wouldn’t be where I am today, I wouldn’t have had the opportunities I’ve had if somebody hadn’t stepped up and helped me out. So, I want to give somebody else those opportunities and that knowledge and make people feel secure in their own skin.

Gretchen Schoser (20:40):

So, I’m really excited about it and they’re excited to have me and it’s just exciting, and they listen to the podcast. So, that was fear number 77 that went out the door. The reason we use pseudonyms for who we are is because my co-host still has to work, she’s got 20 more years. Me, who knows what the next three years hold.

Kevin Gaines (21:12):

You’re kind of like, “Screw it, I don’t care.”

Gretchen Schoser (21:14):

Yeah, because we’re very authentic in how we present ourselves on the podcast. So, that’s how I was at work, so why am I going to change? I’m going to be 60 in a couple of weeks, if you’re expecting me to change, that’s not going to happen.

Gretchen Schoser (21:35):

But for anybody that’s thinking about … If you’re offered an early retirement, like really think about it. Like what’s your industry? What industry are you in? Are you still employable? Lay all your cards out. Maybe you’ll want to go back and do what you were doing. Maybe you just want to go work at Walmart or go be a cashier or go work at the bookstore. That’s all well and good, but make sure that you have enough money to cover your health insurance and your expenses.

Gretchen Schoser (22:12):

And I think the other reason I’m going back to work is I’m a little bougie sometimes. I like my high-tech toys, I’m not going to lie. I like my high-tech toys. I have a $300 microphone, I have my computers, I love my toys. And so, I want to be able to afford my toys also. But also, putting some money away, like I’m taking all my RSUs and socking them away.

Gretchen Schoser (22:39):

Because I got to transfer over my 401(k) and my RSUs, and then with the new job, I’m going to get bonuses, so I’ll be able to take that money and sock it away also. But we’re going to sock away a certain portion of it so we can take another trip. We want to go back to Italy again next year, and I still want to travel with my wife and I want to make those memories. Don’t wait until you retire to make those memories because it could be too late. You know, both my parents didn’t make it to 70. I lost my mom at 58, my dad I lost, he was just a little shy of 60, and they didn’t get to take those trips. They didn’t get to make those memories.

Gretchen Schoser (23:25):

Make those memories. Man, like, sock away $10 a week or $100 a week and do something at least once a month. Treat yourself to a Slurpee, do stuff for yourself because if all you’re doing is working, working, working, and not taking care of yourself, you’re not practicing self-love and self-care. And those are two very important things that I state in every episode of our podcast — self-love and self-care.

Gretchen Schoser (23:59):

And that’s part of why I had my major meltdown on Christmas Day, is I wasn’t taking care of myself. I’m taking care of everybody else, but I’m not taking care of me. Take care of yourself, take care of your family. But at the end of the day, it’s you. You can’t depend on anybody else. You need to depend on yourself and find your fucking happy.

Stephanie McCullough (24:22):

Yeah. I think the current work environment for a lot of people is not conducive to taking care of yourself.

Gretchen Schoser (24:29):

Right. It’s not. And so, you need to take the bull by the horns and take care of yourself. I don’t care if it’s getting up and walking to the kitchen and getting yourself a cup of coffee. Self-care. Self-love. Put on some music that you love. Everybody probably has some headphones. If not, go out to your car, turn it on, scream, yell, do whatever, come back, put on that smiley face. But do those things that make you happy. I wish I’d learned those lessons 15 years ago, because by the time I retired, I was done. Just done. I didn’t care about anybody.

Gretchen Schoser (25:18):

And for me, I was in the customer service industry. So, being a true empath, I would take on all of our customers’ issues, my team’s issues, I’d take them on myself. At the end of the day, I don’t have any time for myself. Now we have what’s called the drama box. So, if it smells like drama, looks like drama, it doesn’t get to come to the box. We set up some really serious boundaries. And with my podcast, something my wife said to me that touched my heart. She said she was very proud of me for doing the podcast.

Gretchen Schoser (25:55):

And I’m writing a book on my whole experience because nobody ever thought that I would be the one to have a breakdown. On the exterior, I’m a very happy-go-lucky person. We are all taught, shove that shit down as far as it can go and go about your happy day. I did that in-

Stephanie McCullough (26:15):

Don’t make anyone uncomfortable.

Gretchen Schoser (26:17):

Don’t make anyone uncomfortable, don’t talk about it. Blah, blah, blah.

Gretchen Schoser (26:20):

Well, by December, I didn’t have my place or elsewhere to go. I shared my story on social media. I had easily 200 people reach out to me and thank me because it terrified them. It terrified me. I never thought it was going to be me, terrified my wife, my friends, my coworkers.

Gretchen Schoser (26:41):

Now I have tips and tricks and tools to help people that are seeing that in somebody they love, or they work with that can help them out. So, I’m writing a book about that whole experience, right now, I’m in a podcast mindset and my wife is funny. In the last five years, she’s like, “I’ve never seen you work so hard on something that wasn’t work related.” Because I put a lot of time and energy into our podcast because it means that much to me.

Gretchen Schoser (27:12):

And I know how much joy it brings to people. And we have people getting up at four o’clock in the morning to listen to our episodes. We drop every Tuesday at 3:00 AM. So, they’re getting up at four to listen to us.

Gretchen Schoser (27:27):

I don’t know why because some of our episodes are a little shady. But we have really cool guests, and everybody gets to tell a story. So, it’s about human nature, human nurture, and taking care of yourself. And — make those fucking memories. The way that Booky put it made absolute sense when she said it. And she was so excited when I told her we were going to Europe. She’s like, that’s exactly what she wanted to hear from me. And we’ve been friends for eight years and she saw me through some really, really crappy stuff. And always made me laugh. And so, I had told her family and her friends, I was honored that she wanted to be a part of our crazy podcast because her message was that impactful.

Stephanie McCullough (28:23):

Yeah. Well, it feels like you said your new job that you’re going to start is passing on your expertise, but so is the podcast.

Gretchen Schoser (28:33):

It is.

Stephanie McCullough (28:33):

Passing on your life expertise.

Gretchen Schoser (28:35):

Yeah, I am. And I’m not writing it for business. I’m writing this for me. I’m writing it for my friends, my family, their friends, their family. Because for every one of me, there’s 15 other people out there that are suffering just the same. If I think about Anthony Bourdain, Robin Williams, Twitch, on the outside, they all looked super happy, on the inside, all they wanted to do was die. I totally can understand where they were coming from because that’s the way I felt.

Gretchen Schoser (29:06):

Now I have great tools. And I’ve gone to therapy and probably should have been doing that for years. But I want to help people. I want people to realize that they’re not alone. And yeah, maybe the start of that depression was taking this early retirement and just a whole bunch of other crap that happened. So, my wife got shingles. She was sick for eight weeks. I hit and killed a deer. That was fantastic. Highly don’t recommend that. We had a couple of deaths.

Gretchen Schoser (29:40):

And then some holiday depression, some seasonal depression. And then remember, in December of this year, it got cold as fuck here. It got like -20. So, none of our cars started. So, add all that on top of, Jesus Christ, I just made this life altering decision because once I signed that paper, I couldn’t unsign it. I was like-

Stephanie McCullough (30:02):

The wheels were in motion.

Gretchen Schoser (30:02):

The wheels were in motion.

Stephanie McCullough (30:04):

It wasn’t long planned, right? It was like-

Gretchen Schoser (30:05):

No.

Stephanie McCullough (30:06):

It wasn’t like you were going to always retire at 59. It just happened.

Gretchen Schoser (30:10):

It just happened.

Stephanie McCullough (30:11):

It popped up.

Gretchen Schoser (30:12):

It popped up. So, I had originally planned on retiring at the end of this year because I was going to be 60. But shit you want to pay me to leave? Deuces. I was out because now you’re going to pay me a buttload of money to leave.

Gretchen Schoser (30:28):

But Kevin, on this side of that depression, I’m a much happier person. And people around me see it. Dirty Skittles sees it, my wife sees it, my friends see it. They felt bad that they didn’t realize how depressed I was because at the time, I couldn’t find my voice or my footing. And it happens to a lot of us.

Stephanie McCullough (30:51):

Yeah.

Gretchen Schoser (30:52):

And maybe a little pride, because I didn’t want to admit that I was super messed up. And I was granted an opportunity to kind of reinvent myself, and I’m really happy I did because I wouldn’t be where I am today if all that other shit happened.

Gretchen Schoser (31:10):

And I get to make people happy, and I get to meet you and tons of other people every week. And it’s really a lot of fun. And like I said, I’m going to be 60 in a couple weeks and how the fuck that happened is a miracle of God because I didn’t see that happening. And me and my high school friends, we lived a hard high school life, and I may have done some questionable things in my life, but I’m-

Kevin Gaines (31:45):

Just maybe, you’re not saying you did, you’re not saying you didn’t. You’re just saying maybe.

Gretchen Schoser (31:50):

I may or may not have done some questionable things in my life.

Stephanie McCullough (31:55):

Before everyone had a camera in their pocket to document it all. Thank goodness.

Gretchen Schoser (31:59):

God, can you imagine that happening? I am so glad. I’m so happy. They didn’t have beepers when I was a kid. We had to go to a payphone. And have you seen a payphone lately? I think the last time we saw one was in the city. I don’t even think it worked, but I was a little afraid to touch it too, because it had nasty stuff on it. I don’t even know if that has a dial tone.

Stephanie McCullough (32:22):

Okay. So, tell us about the title of the podcast.

Gretchen Schoser (32:28):

Okay, so the title of our podcast is Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads and craziest story. The whole name came about when Dirty Skittles and I were just like, shooting the shit. We’re like, well, what are we going to call this? And I’m like, oh, how about shit that goes on in our heads because that’s basically what it is. Every conversation we would have, we were trying to get rid of shit that was in our head. And everybody’s got shit in their head. They want to take it out and give it to somebody else, or they need something to help make that shit spin around.

Gretchen Schoser (33:08):

For me, when I go to the gym, that’s really the only time my mind stops because I’m afraid. I’m going to fall off the treadmill or I’m going to drop a weight on my foot. And both of those are going to suck because with my life, there’s nobody else going to be at the gym. And I’m going to be like, laying on a treadmill, going — cleaning crew will come in and find me.

Gretchen Schoser (33:30):

So, that’s how it came about. We are on every single platform for podcasts. We are listened to in over 70 countries. We’ve had a little over 50,000 downloads since February.

Stephanie McCullough (33:48):

Since February.

Gretchen Schoser (33:48):

Since February of 2023.

Stephanie McCullough (33:50):

5 months, not even. Not even five months.

Gretchen Schoser (33:53):

Not even five months. And we are getting ready to roll out season three here in a couple of weeks. It got pushed back a couple of weeks because of Booky, and we rereleased her episode with some additional vocals. And it’s just our way of honoring her because her message was that important to all of us. And in November, we’re doing a live version of our show. We’re not really sure how we’re going to do this, but I’m flying to Atlanta and we’re going to talk about holiday depression because that is a huge issue for lots of people. We’re going to try and see if Crazy 8 can come back. If not, we have a whole bunch of guests.

Gretchen Schoser (34:40):

And then we’re going to do a Friendsgiving and just really celebrate our successes and our friendship. And when it comes to co-host and friends, I couldn’t ask for a better co-host. Our producer is her husband Bizzle. We just click. We get yelled at a lot because we laugh too much. But for us, that’s our healing power. When we record it is our unpaid therapy. And we look forward to that. And Dirty Skittles and I both said that when I was in Europe, it was hard. It was three weeks. We didn’t record with each other because we recorded a bunch of episodes beforehand. And we really look forward to that.

Gretchen Schoser (35:25):

And I think the other thing we like is meeting all these new people. We have a young kid that’s coming on. He’s a punk rock singer. He’s 21. We told his story. We have a lady coming on who’s a lesbian and she plays in a punk rock band and she’s going to talk about the trans community. We have an energy healer coming on. We have all these great people, and we are booked with guests until the end of September. Who the fuck ever thought this would happen?

Gretchen Schoser (36:00):

Dirty Skittles can’t even go out and look at the stats anymore because it gives her anxiety. Me, I’m a numbers girl. I looked at it. And my side hustle is like helping other smaller podcasters out because that’s how we work. Podcasters help other podcasters out. We all have a great message. We’re all different genres, but damn it just help each other out.

Gretchen Schoser (36:28):

It’s not about who’s the biggest, who’s the most, who does this, blah, blah, blah. Fucking help people out because you didn’t get where you were by just turning on your microphone one day and be like, hey, I’m going to be a podcaster. No, you had to go out to the internet, you had to go out to YouTube. You had to talk to people. Help fucking each other out. And that’s my message is be a little fucking nicer. You don’t need money for everything.

Gretchen Schoser (36:56):

And we haven’t even sponsored our podcast yet. When we move hosts, we’re going to have a lot more opportunity to do that. And it’s not even really about the money. I just want to cover my month-to-month expenses, my hosting expense, because microphone’s already paid for itself, sort of. Word of mouth is everything. We do have-

Stephanie McCullough (37:16):

The podcast is going on after you start your new job.

Gretchen Schoser (37:19):

Oh, hell yeah, girl. Let me tell you, like I said the chief people officer from the new company listens. And we do it after hours. We do it on Saturdays, we do it after hours. I’m not going to be on fucking call every day. I am totally fine with that because those days are over.

Stephanie McCullough (37:39):

Woo-Hoo. Cheers to that.

Gretchen Schoser (37:40):

Cheers to that. Because my time is my time and my time is on my book, spending time with my wife, doing my podcast and just bringing some joy to people’s lives because that’s who I am. I’m a complete extrovert. I’m a Leo through and through. I wear my heart on my sleeves. I cry at stupid movies. But I love my life and I can honestly say that now, but I had to go through a lot of shit to get to this side of that.

Stephanie McCullough (38:13):

Well, thank you for sharing so much.

Gretchen Schoser (38:15):

You’re welcome.

Stephanie McCullough (38:16):

Because the journey from the shit that you were in and getting to this, I mean, it is such a gift to all of us.

Gretchen Schoser (38:24):

I love talking to you guys. You guys were awesome. This was so much fun.

Stephanie McCullough (38:28):

How can people find you if they want to learn more? Podcast on all the places.

Gretchen Schoser (38:34):

Yeah. So, in our show notes, our website is listed there. It’s too hard to explain how-

Stephanie McCullough (38:42):

We’ll link it in our show notes too.

Gretchen Schoser (38:43):

Yeah. Because it’s too hard because there’s hyphenations and when you do look up the show, it’s shit with an exclamation point, because otherwise you can’t put it on any other platform except in your head.

Gretchen Schoser (38:58):

But it’s been a journey and it’s not done yet. And I think that’s the exciting part for me. It’s like there’s still other stuff around the corner that I haven’t explored yet, or Dirty Skittles and I haven’t explored. And I’m excited to see what the future holds.

Stephanie McCullough (39:16):

Well, that’s a fabulous way to wrap up. Thank you so much G-Rex for being with us today.

Gretchen Schoser (39:22):

You’re so welcome. Thank you for having me. This was awesome. I love you guys.

Kevin Gaines (39:26):

Yeah. This was fun.

Stephanie McCullough (39:27):

Aw, we love you.

Stephanie McCullough (39:32):

Well, who’s more fun than G-Rex? And I love that I’m saying she’s fun and yet she’s sharing such a tough time that she went through and with the shit that she went through and the dark times. And yet the positive attitude that she’s got, she says, she wouldn’t be in the happy place she is now if she hadn’t gone through the shit. And the fact that she’s out there sharing it on her podcast, I just love.

Kevin Gaines (39:59):

Most people just view it as a cliché, but it’s true. In many ways, laughter is the best medicine.

Stephanie McCullough (40:05):

Yeah, totally. I love her message about going out there and making the memories in honor of her friend Booky. And I wrote down, she said, “I’m sorry, we waited to take that fabulous trip to Europe.” They probably were planning and saving for years and years. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Sorry, we waited. Kevin, you often say that your job is to give people permission to spend their money.

Kevin Gaines (40:32):

Right. That’s a big thing. As advisors, we talk about probabilities. This is likely to happen or just in case this happens, going back and forth. But at the end of the day, we only have one life. We only do these things one time. So, you go ahead, and you just say, screw it. Let’s go ahead and do this because I’m not going to get a redo. This isn’t a video game where we can just reset this son of a gun.

Stephanie McCullough (41:04):

Well, and her message wasn’t, oh, just blow all your money and go do the thing.

Kevin Gaines (41:06):

Not at all.

Stephanie McCullough (41:07):

Hey, plan ahead. Save some money. Save a little bit a week. Maybe make the sacrifices today. Don’t go out to lunch a couple times. Put the money instead in the vacation fund and go take the trip. Because I know part of the fun of it is the anticipation, but she was just soaking it all in. Living every moment.

Kevin Gaines (41:26):

So yeah, I mean, vacationing when you’re retired versus just taking a break from 80-hour weeks, there’s a difference and a whole different level of enjoyment clearly she got out of that experience.

Stephanie McCullough (41:46):

Well, and I feel like there’s another theme here, which we’ve seen with some of our other guests, which is we get to this phase in kind of whatever you want to call it, if we’re in midlife or whatever, where maybe the things that lit us up before are not quite as fulfilling as they had been.

Stephanie McCullough (42:04):

And she said she wants to help others, give others a leg up, pass on her expertise. And she mentioned the ageism that’s true out there in the workforce, that’s so shortsighted. I love that this consulting firm sees her value and the years that she’s put in, all the things she’s learned and said, “Please come teach our people what you know.” It’s a win for everybody all the way around.

Kevin Gaines (42:30):

Absolutely, absolutely. I mean, this whole idea of institutional memory or experience is underrated a lot of times because there’s a lot to be gained from having that. I mean, what’s the one cliché, that experience is the most expensive teacher or something along those lines, but a great way to make it cheaper is to have somebody else’s experience.

Kevin Gaines (43:03):

But yeah, I mean, the only thing better than learning from your own experiences, learning from somebody else’s experience. So, if you have the opportunity to bring somebody in who has seen it and done it, so your people or yourself don’t have to go through that learning curve that can save you a lot of heartbreak.

Stephanie McCullough (43:26):

Yeah. Shorten the path. And then that’s what she and Dirty Skittles are doing on the podcast too. Letting people learn from their experience and then also letting others share their stories. Kevin, you and I obviously embrace the medium that is podcasting, but I love that she and her co-host discovered it as well as a way to give back, but also as she called it, therapy for herself.

Kevin Gaines (43:53):

Absolutely, yeah. You can’t take away more than that. In fact, I’m going to take a reminder from her to engage in a little self-love and I’m going to blow this popsicle stand and I’m going to into the casino. So, I’m going to preempt you and I’m going to say it’s goodbye from me and it’s goodbye from her. We’ll talk to everybody next time.

Stephanie McCullough (44:20):

So long. All the contact info for G-Rex and Dirty Skittles will be in the show notes. Be sure to subscribe to the show and please share it with your friends. Show notes and more information available at takebackretirement.com. Huge thanks for the original music by the one and only Raymond Loewy through New Math in New York. See you next time.

Disclaimer (44:42):

Investment advice offered through Private Advisor Group, LLC, a registered Investment Advisor. Private Advisor Group, American Financial Management Group, and Sofia Financial are separate entities. The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual security. To determine which investments may be appropriate for you, consult your financial advisor prior to investing. This information is not intended to be substitute for individualized tax advice. Please consult your tax advisor regarding your specific situation.